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On Dec 29, 1998, a man named Brent wrote me a letter. Here is the letter, and my response.
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From: Brent
Subject: nudity and sex
As I read the "nudist" and "naturist" philosophy, I can't help but
note a bit of inconsistency. Why would "nude" be natural while "sex"
is not appropriate? Perhaps I'm still too much of the "free love"
generation. It makes absolutely no sense to say "nude in public" is
natural while classifying "sex in public" as taboo. It appears that
the "nudist community" could learn from their opposition. Nudists that
say "sex has it's proper place and time" exactly parallels with the
opposition's position that "nudity has it's proper place and time."
Where are the consistent thinkers in this world?
Dear Brent,
You simply cannot make generalisations about the "nudist community" and its acceptance of sex, or speak about an "opposition". There are a lot of different opinions out there, and no one group or person speaks for the rest. Here are my thoughts on this much-debated issue.
Context is important
Context is important, of course, and the propriety of skin and sex will always be a matter of personal taste and preference. In many parts of the world (including many of the United States), sex is illegal in many private circumstances, and so groups in those areas must officially disapprove of sex for their very survival. In other parts of the world, sex is considered a private matter for the participants to worry about, and so groups in these areas can be a lot more open in their acceptance of sexuality, whether or not they embrace sex at their events.
You will notice that different groups and web pages draw the lines in different places. North American straight culture has a lot of trouble accepting sex, so it's not surprising that straight nudists often appear uptight about sex. Some gay nudists are uptight about it too, but they tend to be the ones in scary parts of the world (like Georgia). Other gay nudist groups accept sex in limited contexts. And there are certainly a lot of sex clubs (both gay and het) out there that do not embrace nudity.
Sex isn't always fun
Some gay nudist clubs in accepting locations are non-sexual anyway, because they find the group works better that way. When sex is part of the picture, it can overshadow the social aspect of the event. Groups that do allow sex usually do so only in specific circumstances to prevent this from happening.
Self-Righteousness and Bigotry
Some nudists are quite liberated sexually, others are not. This is to be expected; we all come from different backgrounds and have lived different lives, so it's not surprising that we feel differently about things. What is inappropriate, however, is when those nudists who oppose recreational sex point their fingers at those who delight in it and claim that they aren't "real" nudists. This kind of self-righteousness is way out of line. It's fine for one group to set it's own standards, but it is inappropriate for that group to try to dictate its own values to all other groups. Each group needs to find its own path, its own line to draw in the sand of what it finds acceptable.Political Nudity and Personal Kicks
Nude is natural. Everyone knows that. But just because something is natural doesn't mean everyone wants to see it. Appearing nude in public contexts, as nudists have done at the Lesbian and Gay Pride Day parade in Toronto since 1996, is generally a political statement about body acceptance and pride. Only a few nudists are calling for nudity everywhere at all times, and even they are happy for other people to wear clothes if they want.
Exhibitionists, as opposed to nudists, enjoy being nude in public spaces for a variety of reasons, but most of them would become bored of it if nudity were generally acceptable. No-one "streaks" at a nude beach.
Most nudists are content to enjoy their natural state in specific circumstances, such as private events, nude beaches and resorts, and specified locations. There aren't nearly enough places where it is acceptable; we need more clothing-optional beaches, more hiking, swimming, and camping places that accept nudity. But while there is a long way to go before nudists everywhere have opportunity in their reach, not every place needs to be nude to satisfy most nudists.
Consistency can be dumb
As for your complaint that nudists should be more "consistent": why should people be consistent? Different circumstances demand different decisions. Nudity is not the same as sex; why should the rules be the same? Sure, they are both natural, and they are both best when done outdoors in big groups :-), but that's where the similarity ends. Nude is how you are; sex is what you do.
Consistency is not a particularly laudable goal. Murder is acceptable in some circumstances (self-defence, war, and capital punishment, though we prefer to use other names for it) and not in others. I for one am glad people are not expected to be "consistent" about it.
What do you think?
If you are interested in sharing your points of view on this issue, please write me at . The more interesting letters will be added to this page.